The Quote List

Quotes For All Occasions

George Burns – 21 Quotes

 

21 Quotes by George Burns

 

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.

– George Burns


I can’t afford to die I’d lose too much money.

– George Burns


Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

– George Burns


Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

– George Burns


Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.

– George Burns


I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

– George Burns


I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

– George Burns


When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

– George Burns


Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

– George Burns


Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

– George Burns


I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

– George Burns


I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

– George Burns


At my age flowers scare me.

– George Burns


Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

– George Burns


Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

– George Burns


You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.

– George Burns


I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

– George Burns


I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

– George Burns


I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

– George Burns


If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

– George Burns


I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

– George Burns